The sad part is that i really don’t know the answer…
The reason i created this blog from the very beginning is from a friend who i admire for years. She seems to be very much alike with me, and yet we are in different paths. The way she thinks, speaks or anything she has ever expressed to me, i can see the changes. As i can always see the changes of people from my friends, or anyone i care about. Those slightly details of their behavior, i can see them all, and yet i have no freaking clue which differences in ME ?
“Compared to other kids, i haven’t had that many hardships. Not really, Stuff has happened, sure. But stuff always happens, right? But the real challenge in my life, the real hardship is me. It’s always been me, As long as i can remember, I’ve never not been afraid. Afraid of failure, of letting people down, of hurting people, of getting hurt. Before, if i kept my guard up and focused on the other things, other people. If I couldn’t feel it, then no harm would come to me. I screwed up. Not only did I shut out the pain, i shut out everything, the good and the bad, until there was nothing. It’s fine to just live in the now, but the best part about now is there is another one tomorrow. And I’m gonna start making them count.”
– Sutter Keely – “The Spectacular Now”